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Learning How to Help an Alcoholic Friend

Sensitivity and understanding are fantastic ways to support a friend who is navigating the journey of alcohol recovery. Start by showing real concern for their well-being and committing to being there for them. Encourage open communication, where people can openly share their opinions and feelings without judgment. 

8 Minute Read | Published Sep 15 2023 | Updated Sep 25 2024 Expert Verified
Ashley Bayliss
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Ashley Bayliss
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Also, encourage them to seek professional help, such as therapy or support and assistance from Alcoholics Anonymous. Show that you care about their recovery by offering to help them find tools and make appointments.

Emphasize mutual respect. Prioritize self-care and ask friends, family, or doctors for support. This guide will show you that your encouragement and presence can help your friend overcome alcoholism and live a sober and happy life.

What Can You Do?

To begin, it would be helpful to engage in a genuine conversation with the person you care about, expressing your genuine concern for their welfare. When addressing their behavior, it's important to avoid using accusatory language. Instead, gently bring up specific points that have bothered you or that you have noticed. It's best to use empathetic language to express your concerns. 

Active listening is very important. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, thoughts, and problems with drinking without being afraid of being judged. Acknowledging what they say and how they feel shows that you care and are listening. Being honest with each other is a great way to improve your relationship and set the stage for a helpful talk about getting help.

You can help your friend get professional help by suggesting groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, therapy, or counseling. Show that you want them to improve by offering to help them with things like attending appointments and studying treatment options. Also, remember to put your own mental and emotional health first by telling them how important it is for both of you to take care of yourself.

Setting clear limits is important for maintaining good relationships with others while being supportive. As you tell them you'll always be there for them, be clear about what you won't stand for. Disagree with their drinking by avoiding events that involve alcohol or do not help them while they are trying to hide the effects of their drinking.

It is important to remember that the healing process can be slow and have its ups and downs; for this, it is crucial to offer support and be there for the person going through it. When you show support and encouragement, the person can rely on you for motivation and strength to overcome difficult situations that might arise. 

How Can You Educate Yourself About Alcoholism?

You can look into many places to learn more about drinking and how to help your friend. Read the books and papers written by addiction experts as a first step. These tools can help you learn a lot more about alcoholism, its effects, and different types of treatment. Going to a seminar or training on the subject is an exciting opportunity to expand your knowledge about addiction and make progress toward recovery.

Individualized guidance and information about alcohol dependence from counselors, therapists, and addiction specialists can help you understand the situation and support your friend in seeking treatment. It can also be useful to join Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous support groups. You may feel better and more in control if your friends who are addicts provide you with advice and information.

Another good option are online support groups, forums, and websites that are just for people who are dealing with addiction or alcoholism, and that can be very helpful. Many people think these sites are useful because they let them share their stories and connect with others who understand what they're going through. Last but not least, if you want to be a good friend to someone recovering from addiction, it can help to know about the latest studies and developments in the field.

What Should You Not Say if You Are Trying to Help an Alcoholic Friend?

Help a friend who is drinking by using the right words and attitude. Avoid saying certain things and acting in certain ways to keep the mood upbeat. 

First, don't say bad things about your friend's drinking habits. Listen to and care about their well-being when you talk to them, but always try to avoid being judgmental. Avoid alcohol-related warnings and lectures. You have good intentions, but this tactic could be patronizing and discourage your friend from asking for help.

Never minimize the emotions or experiences connected to drinking that your friend has had. Support their feelings and concerns even if you don't understand or agree.

Never demand or threaten your friend to behave differently. Such approaches are unlikely to work and may harm your relationship.

Avoid condemning your friend for alcoholism. Instead, encourage them on their recovery journey.

Enablers like covering for friends or giving them drinks should be avoided. Encourage healthy choices and set limits to protect yourself and preserve a helpful connection.

Be careful of your words and approach to create a secure and supportive environment that enables your friend to seek treatment and make positive changes.

What to Do

What Not to Do

Approach with empathy and understanding

Pass judgment or criticize their behavior

Express genuine concern for their well-being

Deliver lectures or moralize about alcohol

Listen actively and validate their feelings

Minimize or dismiss their concerns

Encourage them to seek professional help

Issue ultimatums or make threats

Offer support without judgment or criticism

Blame or shame them for their alcoholism

Respect their autonomy and choices

Enable their drinking behavior

Set healthy boundaries to protect yourself

Provide unsolicited advice

Educate yourself about alcoholism and addiction

Compare their situation to others’

10 Ways to Start "The" Conversation with an Alcoholic Friend:

  1. Hey, can we have a chat? I've noticed you've been improving your drinking habits lately, and I'm very glad to see this advance for your well-being.
  2. I have a lot of love and concern for you, and I've been watching your drinking habits lately.
  3. I'm excited to see the positive changes in your behavior after you stop drinking, and I'm here to support you if you ever need someone to talk to.
  4. I'm here for you, and I'm excited to listen if you ever want to talk about your drinking.
  5.  I can't wait to chat about something important with you. I'm worried about you and your drinking patterns lately.
  6. I'm quite concerned about how much alcohol you've been drinking, and I want to make sure you're doing okay. 
  7. Hey, I don't know what you think, but your drinking is making things worse in your life, and I'd love to help you.
  8. I like you, and I'm always here for you if you ever want to talk about drinking or anything else.
  9. I'm here for you no matter what. If you're having problems with drinking, you can talk to me; I care about your health.
  10. Hi there, I meant to talk to you about some concerning things.

How to Help an Alcoholic Friend to Look for Rehab Centers?

First, look into rehab centers in their area or ones that someone suggested—references are important. Look for places that offer full, custom-made programs that include therapy, counseling, rehabilitation, and help with things to do after treatment.

Tell your friend what you've learned in a way that can help them and doesn't make them feel bad about themselves. Discuss the pros, cons, services, treatment approaches, and success rates of each rehab center so that they can make an informed choice.

Let your friend know that you'll always be there for anything. You can offer to go with them to different therapy centers and help them physically and mentally.

If you want success, involve your friend more in making decisions. As they begin their road to recovery, they must select a rehab center that is comfortable for them.

No matter what rehab clinic your friend decides on, you should respect their decision. Be there for them and give them your support and encouragement, no strings attached.

Once your friend has picked a rehab center, you must call them to see how they're doing and keep the support coming. Just be there to lend a hand and offer support as they prepare to begin their treatment plan.

Be always there for your friend and offer helpful advice. Remember, you can assist them in finding a reliable rehabilitation center that can meet their needs and provide support as they work towards recovery and improved health.

Resources

bullet NIAAA
"Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help"
Retrieved on May 27, 2024
bullet SCielo
"Alcoholic patients' response to their disease: perspective of patients and family"
Retrieved on May 27, 2024
bullet Book
"Active listening techniques: 30 practical tools to hone your communication skills"
Retrieved on May 27, 2024
bullet Wiley
"Alcohol Abuse"
Retrieved on May 27, 2024
bullet Journal of studies on Alcohol and Drugs
"Helping other alcoholics in alcoholics anonymous and drinking outcomes: findings from project MATCH"
Retrieved on May 27, 2024

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